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"There is absolutely nothing more important in my life than serving God, in whatever form that takes."

I am a missionary at heart. I feel as "at home" in a foreign village with no running water and  outdoor facilities as I do in my own living room.  This is not because  I'm such a great person.  On the contrary, I often have a tough time  adjusting to "the call", such as when ministering to the people who live  at the city dump of one of the poorest nations in the world, Guatemala,  City, Guatemala (Yes, there is an actual community residing there  amongst the vultures who also share this habitat).   Or when I was  invited to minister to the Pakistani people the first time.  There is  sometimes culture shock as well as the occasional, panicked, thought, "What am I doing here?!"  Were it not for the Holy Spirit generously pouring God's love into my  heart, (Romans 5:5), I would stay securely planted in my comfort zone  until He calls me home.

You see, I've had quite enough adventure in my life.  I was born  into an alcoholic home, suffered horrendous childhood abuses, became a  drug and alcohol addict myself and was once married to an Italian  mobster whose mainstay was pornography.  Yet I say without any  reservation that God's work is the most daunting challenge I've ever  faced.  Nevertheless, service to the King of Kings also brings the  sweetest highs and the most fulfilling of all relationships with God and  His church here on earth.   In short, I couldn't live without it!  I've  written books, songs and commercials, produced music and video, sung  with some of the world's greatest artists, spoken before thousands of  people, and for some this  might appear to be a life fulfilled.  But not  for this child of God.  I am only fulfilled when His will is  accomplished.  And sometimes that might look like writing a book or  attending a Bible study, ministering at a conference somewhere or to my  husband Joe and my sons Nicholas and Joseph, or helping in our  business.  However it may appear, I now know that serving God is not a  hunger that will ever be quenched for me on this planet.  I don't  believe that one ever "finishes" God's work here.  We go on until He  takes us home.  And that is what drives me forward, whether it's a Skype  prayer meeting at a remote village in Pakistan, eye surgeries to the  poorest of the poor children in Mexico, or ministering to recovering  addicts at my Warrior Princess Retreat.  I go because He calls.  And if  He ever stops calling, it will be because He called me for the final  time and I'm now far away from here in His Heaven.

After nearly 30 years of sobriety and walking with my Lord, I  realize more than ever that, even though Christ has made me a new  person, (2 Corinthians 5:17), that old Barbara is lurking just a doorway  away in this long corridor of life, beckoning me to come back (our  enemy never gives up).  But Jesus stands in front of that door, arms  outstretched, reminding me that I never again want to go back to that  place.  That's why I must keep my eyes on Him.

Wherever this life with Him takes me, I will forever be grateful to  Him for saving my life and giving me purpose in whatever He calls me to  do.  Thank you, Jesus!!